“A Real Potato Chip”

After making my tomato sandwich for the evening, I went to find some real potato chips.  It was hot today, and I sweat out a lot of water, so I was craving something salty.  Even with gator-aide, or the newer Power Aide drinks, sometimes I need some salty potato chips to be satisfied.  Normally I like Lays when we can afford them, or a general store brand or another brand on sale when we cannot.  Just so you know, I eat potato chips about twice a month.

Tonight, I was on a mission to find some.  I found only a few remaining, the salty, sour cream and onion type, in the green bag.  I found no plain chips, either baked or fried.  I found no ruffles with ridges, no barbecue, either normal or extra hot.  I found no chips baked with sea salt for better nutrition.  I did however find something I had never seen before, called “Pita Chips.”  In fact, I found three different kinds, one shaped like pretzels, one shaped like a cracker, and another type I can’t even describe what it looks like, sort of oblong, like a rhomboid or something like that.  None of the bags were opened, so as yet I have not tasted them.  The question I have, of course, is this:  “Where did the Pita Chips come from?”  The second question follows from the first:  “Why are the Pita Chips in our cabinet but the regular Lays potato chips are not?”

I suppose this must be part of the move towards things organic and things exotic.  But the Pita chip bags do not say they are organic.  Apparently, these are not made from potatoes, but rather some amalgam of wheat and other grains deemed healthy for us.  All grains of whatever types, oats, rye, wheat, barley, corn are essentially carbohydrates.  Potatoes are carbohydrates.  In the overall scheme of life civilizations have been born and sustained on grains or potatoes containing carbohydrates.  As I recall potatoes come from Peru.  But they have been grown in Ireland and many other places.  I grew up eating both Irish (white) and sweet potatoes.  From what I know, the sweet potato has more nutrition than the white potato.  But not all potatoes are white.  Some are buttery and yellow.  I myself grew purple potatoes just this year.  Some potatoes are small and slender, and some baking potatoes are very large.  I once ate a potato so very large, it was called “The Lead-Belly.” I can testify it sat for a long time on my stomach, and I felt very full after eating it, loaded with many meats, butter, chives and sour cream.

I have also eaten many kinds of crackers.  I remember when all we had was the standard saltine, which we used in our soups and oyster stews.  Then there came one with “low-salt”, which was not nearly as good.  I remember the first time I ate Ritz crackers, which now come in whole wheat.  The ubiquitous cheese crackers now have different kinds of cheese.  The other night I found a box which has both white and yellow cheese in the same box!  I found one with pepper jack, which gave me indigestion, it was so hot.  Or perhaps it was because I ate it late at night, after 10pm.

I have discovered that roasted peanuts mixed with yogurt raisins can give crazy dreams.  Peanuts, or course taste best when they are cracked and eaten right out of the shell.  Boiled peanuts are a craze during football season.  I once ate so many it took three days for them all to pass through.  Once, and only once I tried some rice cakes.  It is a grain, and it is carbohydrate, but let me tell you, it is not palatable.  It reminded me of the Tofu I had when visiting in Ghana.  Even covered in brown gravy, it was difficult to eat.  The tofu in Ghana sat on the stomach for a long, long time.

I had fried chick peas more than once in Israel, in what was called a Falafel, or “poor boy sandwich.” When stuffed with tomatoes, lettuce and tzatziki sauce in a pita bread pocket it is quite delicious, as good as a hamburger.  The best hummus, of course, comes from the lowly chick pea.  Forgo the soybeans and demand the best.  Be sure your hummus is chickpea only and roasted.

My daughter who visited Bali lived for three weeks surviving there only eating “sacred rice”.  Apparently it is grown at the base of a large volcano in the rich soil there.  It is “blessed by the gods”, or so she says, and is very good!

I once ate something called quinoa, which is quite wonderful, if hard to pronounce, but I was afraid to eat much figuring a limited supply, so I have not done so again.

As a boy, I grew up eating white potatoes in the spring and sweet potatoes in the fall.  We had corn in season, and in school they fed us hominy (from corn) which mixed with pinto beans and collards or turnip greens will keep a young man alive during a long day in the first grade.  The other children paid 10 cents for an ice cream sandwich, but I ate green or yellow Jello for my dessert, since I did not have a dime.

Now there is another chip called “Fritos”, made from corn, which I enjoy, along with “Bugles”, also made from corn.  If I cannot have my plain Lays potato chips, these are pretty good, as well.  However, Pita Chips is going way too far!  I eat lots of vegetables, and other things called organic.  But please do not do away with my potato chips.  I am one of those “who cannot eat just one!”  Now you think immediately of Pringles in the can, but I think of Lay’s potato chips, plain in the bag.  Only once did I eat the whole bag (not the family size), but if you mix either the plain potato chips or the sour cream and onions and wash it all down with regular V-8, my God you have a complete meal with a drink and chips.  There is enough salt in both to raise your blood pressure at least 10 points.  The salt attracts enough water to hydrate you for 36 hours.  As long as your legs don’t swell more than half an inch, you can enjoy.  More than that, it’s Pita Chips, made from wheat, low salt, plain and flat for you!

I counted the number of potato chips tonight I ate to finally get enough salt to be satisfied.  It took 17.  Seventeen chips at one time is enough to balance one tomato sandwich.  If you decide to drink V-8 instead of sweet tea or water, I would cut back to 11.  One mustn’t take too much salt at once.  Or if you prefer, eat no chips at all.  One day, I am going to eat a tomato sandwich with only Duke’s mayonnaise and black pepper.  I think I’ll also forego the sweet iced tea and drink only iced water.  I know if I can do that I will have entered into the “organic generation.”  I’m not sure if that will make me live longer or not.  My children will find out about that.  They eat low salt, low fat everything.

The world as we know it is a changing!  We are all merging together into one people IN Christ.  I suppose I will need to inquire of the Lord if He allows Lay’s potato chips in heaven.  I am sure there must be a section up there just for people like me.  The Pita Chip section which looks like pretzels will surely be there, too.  I just hope for dinner, we get to have more than that!  A tomato sandwich with Duke’s mayonnaise on white bread will be okay, too.