“Children, Clowns and Chainsaws”

My daughter, Hannah and her best friend, Caroline plan an excursion each fall to one of the “Haunted Houses” or other displays which pop up like daffodils in the spring, covering our area with general “fright, night and clouds of gathering doom.”  In other words, the whole intention of these places which arise every Halloween season is “to scare your pants off” or “make you pee in your pants”, whichever comes first.  I have myself never found the appeal of these places, so I do not go.  My daughter and Caroline go regularly, perhaps simply as a rite of friendship in the fall, or perhaps they just like the adrenaline rush from being “frightened out of one’s wits!”  Hannah says she goes to watch Caroline’s reaction.  I suspect Caroline goes to watch Hannah’s, though she will not admit as such.

Hannah and I were discussing the event of the scary Haunted Festival in Anderson, SC, which takes up the whole Civic Center there and goes on for weeks.  It is quite a money making enterprise for whomever runs it.  I guess it has replaced the annual ritual of the county fair, but I am not so sure of that.

Hannah reports that there are three things that really bother Caroline.  One is “children”, the other “clowns” and the final one is “chainsaws.”  So these I will discuss in turn.  Hannah does not tell me of her three things, and I know better than to ask.

As to “children,” I presume and assume we are talking about children who do evil or mischievous things.  Apparently, children like these disturb Caroline quite a bit, as I am sure that would also disturb me.  I have said in the beginning, I do not partake in these community events, as I deal with enough real problems during the week, so I do not need additional ones, even fantastical ones on the weekend!  I see enough children in trouble to set me back a lifetime, mostly from broken homes torn apart by their parents’ drug addictions.  I see the children when they present to my clinic with the grandparents or possibly a caring aunt, who has adopted them to keep them out of foster care and provide some way for these little innocent ones to have a safe and hopefully happy home.

As to “clowns,” these are obviously not the good and benevolent clowns that frequent circuses and birthday parties or as in the movie “Patch Adams” frequenting hospital wards.  The clowns in these events are like the ones being banned across the good ole United States of America.  These so-called “bad clowns” do mischief in the communities.  Instead of making people laugh and cry with joy, they are known to terrify, bully and bring new misery into already miserable lives.  I have always loved clowns and all the good things they do and stand for.  Particularly those who pantomime, as for example in the old “Red Skelton Show” help us get in touch with the deeper parts of ourselves.  The emotions we have been afraid to name, the sadness we cannot access, the laughter we have forgotten how to do, benevolent clowns help us with these things.  That’s why I care not to see any “bad clowns.”  I need all the good ones I can find just for me.

As to “chainsaws,” I suppose these hark back to the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” which has apparently taken on a cult like status among many moviegoers.  Since I never saw the movie and have no intention of ever seeing it, I can only surmise that whatever is going on in the Haunted Houses across the USA is somehow another rendition of being afraid of what a chainsaw can do to human flesh.  Whoever believes that people have a need to watch themselves being cut into pieces surely must have a demented and darkened mind.  I use chainsaws regularly to cut down and trim up trees.  These are good tools for what they are designed to do, but cause horrible problems when used improperly.  Anyone who uses chainsaws appreciates their power and efficiency to cut trees and tree limbs in the forest, or scrub brush by the road’s edge.  They are a truly great human invention.  I cannot imagine the fascination some people have of using these for demented purposes, particularly in the destruction of human life.  It is abhorrent to me, since I have spent my life trying to bind up the wounds which happen to us daily as human beings.  We do not need any more methods of human destruction.  Surely, let us spend our days on something more benevolent than that.

So to come to my summary of this very interesting subject, “children, clowns and chainsaws.”  If you enjoy frightening yourself silly and “scaring your pants off” after you have peed in them, then go to it my friend.  I do not deny you this satisfaction.  As for me, my Halloween is spent rubbing my cat, and wondering just how he makes such a wonderful purring noise so easily and for such a long time!  It provides me with a continual fascination.  That’s about as much excitement I can handle after a long day of work.  A purring kitty sitting on my lap not only warms the old bones but lowers my blood pressure, too.  And if you come by my house on Hallows Eve, surely we will find a piece of chocolate for your enjoyment.   Well-dressed children, benevolent clowns and persons carrying fake chainsaws are welcome.  Everyone else, stay in your Haunted House.  You have too much adrenaline in your body for me!  My celebration will not hold enough excitement for you!  I am home calming myself rubbing my cat.

Bww    October 14, 2017