“A New Battery”

On May 23 of this fine year, 2018, I will have my battery replaced.  The cardiologist prefers to call this “a generator.”  Made by St Jude, this very fine ticking clock powered by a not so permanent battery has lasted a little over 8.5 years, per report of my cardiologist.  It is now subject to replacement, as it has only about 3 months left to send impulses to my heart, more or less.

I inquired a few months ago, at an office visit how I might know when said battery was about to run down and out.  I was informed that “it will start beeping,” apparently as a warning of its impending demise.  I am curious to know what the patients I see on a daily basis will think if they hear a beeping sound coming from my upper chest.  Will they think I am about to blow up, as this would certainly go along with our daily fare of evening news?  Or what will they think, that their physician is coming to the end of his life?

I remember when my battery was first placed.  The anesthesia did not work perfectly.  I heard the whole procedure and felt my gentle cardiologist pushing down with his fingers into my upper chest to make a pocket for the wires and this device.  I tried to call out saying I needed more anesthesia, but I could not speak.  The pain was not so overwhelming as to be unbearable, so I took the position of observing my own procedure.  I still do not believe the other physician believes I was awake through the whole procedure.  But trust me, I remember it all, even as yesterday!

Now having requested special consideration in this next procedure, as well as a whole lot of Hibiclens for my chest, owning to the ubiquitous staph these days, and a shave of the chest if needed, I am ready to proceed.

What is even more interesting than the actual procedure is the theological implications of what I am doing.   Without a new battery, I will not be long for this world!  Without the first one, I would never have walked out of the hospital.  Now, almost 9 years later, I await my replacement, so hopefully, God will grant me another 10 years of productive life.  I hope to work as a physician until I am age 74 before retiring, but then who can say?  Sometimes our bodies break down far more quickly than we hope or desire.

I have prayed about these matters, of course, and laid the whole process of my living before my God, entreating him to help me on this journey and to allow me to serve him well, as to whatever might glorify his name.  And, of course, he may have me at whatever time he wishes me to come into his presence.  Life is short, but even one day in the presence of our Lord is better than a thousand elsewhere!

It is a rather profound thing for me to realize that my life is dependent on a small device resident within my chest.  And if replaced, this device powered by electricity can grant me another ten years of living, more or less.  This makes me reflect deeply on the use of my remaining time.  I do not wish to waste even one minute of it all!  So at 4:43AM, I sit writing this short story, and am reminded that when dawn comes I will go back to the office and take care of some 24 persons, more or less, who are trying to live a little longer, too.

So in dying each day, we live, and in living we give glory to our God, through our Lord Jesus Christ!  Having my battery replaced in a few weeks reminds me of the mortal and limited nature of this life!  How grateful I am there will come a day when I need a new battery no more.  I will be given a new resurrection body in my Lord Jesus Christ, whose life and living has no end!  Is there any better gift I can be given, than the gift to be loved eternally by my God!

Bill Wilson, servant of our Lord Jesus, by my God’s gracious mercies.  “Amen!”

“Amen!  We praise you, Lord Jesus Christ!”