“Turning 65”

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock:  if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”  (Revelation 3:20)

“Before they call, I will answer; and while they are speaking, I will hear.”  (Isaiah 65:24)

Truer words have never been spoken!  At age 65, as at any age, I still need the Lord Jesus Christ to bless, save, help and encourage me in His redemptive love, grace, mercy and power as at any age prior or afterward.  I would like to report by age 65 that I have “improved myself, become a little wiser, and now know more about how to handle life’s temptations,” but alas, that is not true.  I need Jesus today as much as I needed him yesterday; I will need him tomorrow as much as I do today.

The scandal of humanity is that we do not improve ourselves at all.  In fact, as we age, we may indeed become worse instead of better.  Instead of being more amenable to change, we become less.  Instead of desiring the future, we come to dread it.  Instead of having greater faith, we have less faith and more anxiety.  Instead of knowing God more, we find the way back to God is more difficult.  We know what we should be doing, but find we are incapable of doing it.  Instead of more goodness within ourselves, we have less.  We collapse on the ground in a heap of muddy distress and pray, “Dear God, please save me just one more time.  This will be the last time I fail…,” or so I promise my loving God.

The good news in all of this morass, lack of faith, ill hope and disgusting sorrow of self and loss of pride in almost everything we thought we did so well is our God does not change!  Our God continues to help us, hold us, love us, come to us, be generous with us, forgives us once again, surprising us with abundant mercies and hope, granting us faith to believe again, even though we failed last time and may fail again this time, yet—yes, yet our God in Jesus Christ still believes in us enough to let us try again!

I have nothing particular to say about tuning 65 years old, except that this is the first time I have been 65 years old and do not expect to ever be able to do this again.  I have had more well-wishers says “Happy Birthday” to me, both family, dear friends and strangers as to be embarrassed by all the fuss, as internally I have mixed reviews.  I asked myself this week, while reflecting on the weight of the matter, whether anything could be done to stop my aging further, but found nothing.  I mused that I really did need to buy a burial plot somewhere, lest my ashes be discarded in a dump heap of cat litter and other assorted household trash.  A person needs at least a designated spot to be buried!  I also got to thinking a lot about how much longer I might live and whether I have time to pay off my student loans from med school, but I suppose that really is not a big concern if I’m dead.

This should be a time to think profound thoughts, come up with a new ten year plan, or make promises to God to do some greater thing, but for the life of me, I can’t think of anything else I want to do, except perhaps write a few more stories about something worth writing about.

I spent my birthday weekend with my son David, who came up from Gainesville,GA to help me build an 8 foot deer fence around my vegetable garden.  We finished one third, which is a great help, but I still have 2/3rds yet to go.  The 8 foot rolls of woven wire weigh almost 400lbs, so I use the tractor front end loader to pick up the roll and move it from place to place.  David helped immensely, helping me stretch and tack the wire to the wooden poles as we struggled simply to roll the wire down the hill!  It makes a beautiful deer fence, however, and should also work to keep out wild pigs and coyotes.  I plan to put some Guinea hens in my garden to eat the bugs, ticks and grass seeds, so I need a safe place for them to stay.

Last night, my wife, David and Christy, my brother John and Shala all went to a wonderful Thai restaurant in downtown Greenville to celebrate my birthday.  The meal was exquisite, and they served for dessert fried ice cream with one candle.  It was a wonderful celebration!  My wife also bought a cake with white cream icing and shamrocks and a delectable breakfast quiche, which we had for breakfast in the morning.  Daughter Hannah joined in from Sydney by Skype to sing “Happy Birthday,” as we cut the birthday cake.

At the end of the day, celebrating 65 years is something special, as not everyone gets to do it.  Neither does everyone have a family with whom to celebrate a birthday of any years.  So, I am truly blessed to have had this great experience!

So whether I am improving or getting worse as a human being, I cannot say.  I can say that I am dearly loved more than I have ever deserved by more persons than I ever imagined might love me.  My best friend, Tom even sent me a copy of the “Beatles’ Birthday Song” on my phone, which I had never heard before.  When I shared the song with Dorothy she was amazed I had never heard it, wondering, I think, under what rock I had been living for such a long time!

So for all of you who are having birthdays, or wishing you might celebrate another, remember what one friend told me, “It is better to be walking around than to be lying in the ground, no matter what you say about getting older.”  He even said, I “looked pretty good for a man as old as me!”

And if you only remember one thing from all these rambling words…Remember, my friend, you are loved by God! Our God in Jesus Christ will continue to save you from your best and your worse self, bringing you to that Great Day when we will all see Him and each other, face to face!

Bill W. servant of God by God’s gracious mercies in Jesus Christ our Lord and our Redeemer.  “Amen!”